My husband and I never really celebrate Valentine’s Day even before we got married. We don’t like being caught in traffic and ending up fighting. We usually go out after February 14 but there was this one particular Valentine’s Day about two years ago that I was sort of hoping and expecting he would ask me out. The week before February 14, he was really busy in the office. He’d leave early in the morning and come home late or sometimes he would arrive in the wee hours of the morning and get up early and leave again. That had been a routine.

So when February 13 came and he told me he wanted us to have dinner that night, I was sort of flattered. He did not tell me where we were going so I assumed it would be in a fancy restaurant. I did not ask him what I should wear so I just put on a skirt and a black blouse and brought a blazer just in case. I came from the salon that morning due to a scheduled appointment weeks ago to have my hair colored. That afternoon, my husband called and informed that we will just have a late dinner since his boss asked him to attend a meeting at 8 pm. When he finally came to fetch me at 10 pm…I was aghast when I opened the passenger seat. Lo and behold, I saw him in his short pants! He explained that he first went to the gym before their meeting. So there I was, with my new colored hair, my sort of made up face and my sort of nice outfit, sitting at the passenger’s seat not knowing what to say. When he asked me where I wanted to go, it took all the effort not to shout ‘McDonalds!’ sarcastically. All I could say was, ‘Anywhere you want to go.’ So we ended up eating in a Chinese restaurant near our place.

What would you have done? I could have sulked and fret. But then I asked myself, would it do me any good? I don’t think so. Maybe one of the secrets of our seventeen-year-marriage is to let things be if  they will not cause the end of the world.

You might say, ‘That man is clueless.’ And I would say, ‘I AGREE!’

But before you ladies go nodding your heads because you can definitely empathize with me, let me relate another incident.

We recently attended the wedding of my sister-in-law. My husband was asked to say a short message during the program at the reception addressing the newly weds. Since he was the eldest, he was expected to give a message.

I will not go into the details but what touched my heart was what he said at the end as he addressed his sister and said that she should invest her life to her husband as what I (his wife) did with his. What would become of her husband in 10 years will be because of her. I was floored! I was not expecting it. I did not know what to do. Gosh! I could feel all eyes were on me! So I sat there feeling ten feet tall and smiling my sweetest smile! Oh my! I realized I just stole the show! When he came back to his seat he took my hand and pressed it. The saying goes, “A woman can MAKE or BREAK her man.” To me, what he actually said was, “Who and what he is now is because of me. (I just hope to God that’s something positive!)

What a contrast from the earlier account. From a clueless guy to a man who thinks the world of his woman.

Experiences like these in a relationship just make you think: Is love really about flowers wrapped in fancy paper or the chocolates or the gifts? Of course not – but I would be hypocrite though, if I say that sometimes these things make a woman feel good and important. But it is when a man understands your every unspoken word. It is the little things men do that sometimes women take for granted, like carrying our things or letting us have the best piece of the cake. In my case, it is when I accidentally step on my shoelaces and my husband goes down on his knees in the middle of the street to tie them or when he drives me around the whole day when I need to find a particular kind of sandals, or the look I see in his eyes when he says, ‘Look at your children, they are beautiful.’

Wait! The wedding account did not end there. After the celebration, friends and relatives both on ours and the groom’s side were teasing us, of course. My husband made another dunk shot in the end for the win when he said to his great grand uncle, “She lights up any room she enters.”

Now you say, “Ahhhhhh, sweet.” I say, “I AGREE!"

Happy Valentine’s

Scarlet, a feisty woman as fondly described by her husband loves Lucy Van Pelt of the Peanuts and Angelica Pickles of the Rugrats.